Friday, November 8, 2019

Second Chances

My name is Tim Bentley and this is a story about second chances and running. This story begins with my left big toe…

You know at the shoe store, when they ask you to move your toe up and down, to see if the shoe fits? Well, I can’t move my left big toe (you just tried it didn’t you?). So did I. I still can’t do it.

But this big toe starts me on a journey, a journey to my second chance. A place that I wouldn’t be, if it wasn’t for my first chance.

Because my first chance happened when I was in high school. When I was a nervous freshman, trying out for the golf team.  My friend Mike and I practiced all summer in hopes of making the team. I tell people we got cut from the team, but in reality, we didn’t even make the team to get cut. Like any nervous, 14-year-old boys, Mike and I panicked. Oh no, we’ll have to take PE in 3rd period. We’ll be sweaty in school!

But my friend Mike is smart and knows that cross country is a no-cut sport!  We find the coach, Mr. Brooks and shyly ask if we can join the team. I’m so nervous, worrying that he’d say no. I’d learn later as an adult, and HS cross country coach, that XC takes everybody – if two boys show up begging to be on the team, you take them!

And here, here is my first chance for running to save my life.

You know that teacher you have in HS that’s your favorite? The one you can remember to this day? Mr. Brooks is that for me. Not only was he a coach, but he was a teacher of life lessons. He taught us to:

  • Be tough
  • Push yourself
  • Be competitive, but gracious
  • Be curious
  • Be kind
  • Be great everyday

I began to look forward to those daily practices. To find myself, to define myself as a runner. I had some success in HS. I was the #1 runner for three years. I led the first boy's team in HS history to the state championship meet, and I was an all-state and all-region runner. But my favorite thing about cross country was Mr. Brooks. Each day and after each race I came to look forward to Mr. Brooks, who with a quiet, “good job, Timothy” was all it took to fill my chest with pride.
 
My senior year I had the top time in the state in the mile, and along with some teammates set the school record in the distance medley. A record that still stands to this day and is third fastest in Tucson history. I looked it up :) I was even inducted into the Sabino HS Hall of fame last month for my exploits as a runner among other things.

I was a good runner and a good student. Not only did I earn an athletic scholarship, but I earned an academic one too. I was lucky enough to earn a few bucks to offset college expenses.

But just three years later, I‘d let this first chance slip away.

You see, I’d talk myself out of running after a few years in college. Chasing girls and drinking beers would be much more fun I thought.  But along with those pursuits, came bad grades, failing classes and quitting the team. Most regrettably, I’d forgotten the lessons that Mr. Brooks taught me.

Fast forward 17 years and I’m sitting on the couch trying to wiggle my big toe. But I can’t. That non-wiggle starts me on a journey to find out why. A succession of doctors try and diagnose me. Did I injure my foot? Break my leg, wear funny shoes? No. No. My wife thought I did, but no.

But at each doctor I ask questions that help me narrow it down. A local Gastroenterologist tells me that low B-12 can cause nerve damage. Aha! It’s solved. He is concerned about a small mass in my stomach. He thinks I have Chrohn’s disease – a B-12 sucking disease that he is confident is the culprit. But after two years of treatment, we come to realize that it’s not.

Let’s try one more test he says.  A biopsy on that mass in my stomach. A biopsy in April of 2009 that comes back positive for Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.

Here it is 2009 –

  • 28 years after I met Mr. Brooks
  • 22 years after I stopped running 
  • and 2 years after my big toe
  • Diagnosed with Non Hodgkin’s Follicular Lymphoma Stage IV (out of V) and I'm screwed.

They hustled me into treatment, because if I didn’t, I could die.

I didn’t know what I could do, I didn’t know what I should do – my life is in shambles, chasing girls and drinking beer will do that. And now I have cancer. I. just. didn’t. know...

I sat down and had a think. I did know what to do. I’m a runner and Mr. Brooks taught me these things to be true:

  • Be tough
  • Push yourself
  • Be competitive, but gracious
  • Be curious
  • Be kind
  • Be great everyday

I decided to run a race against chemo, kick the crap out of cancer. I would apply the lessons I learned from Mr. Brooks, and spoiler alert – I won. But that’s a story for another day. Another Odyssey.

I will tell you this - I went through four years of kick your ass, ‘punch you in the face’ chemotherapy, radiation and other drugs. And every step along the way, doctors, nurses, and other medical staff tell you just how good you are at ‘getting punched in the face.’

My story ends, or maybe it begins again after my treatment ends. I called up my friend Mike, the one that was cut from the golf team with me and asked him to go for a run. Lacing up my shoes that day, I realize I still can’t move my big toe, but I don’t really care, I’m just excited to get out.

Mike and I head out on the path, and no joke, the first person we see when we make the turn is Mr. Brooks walking with his wife Carol. I hadn’t seen him in years, this man that played such a big role in my life, influencing me tremendously. I quickly told him my story. Chemo, radiation, remission. Two minutes tops.  We visited for just for a few more minutes after that. As we get ready to say our good byes, he turns to me and says, ‘Good job, Timothy,' and my chest fills with pride.

You see, it was Mr. Brooks that had given me my second chance. But he gave it to me in 1981. I just didn’t know it.

Saturday, June 1, 2019

Creating a New Life From Tragic Loss


Fall 2010

It’s been twelve year’s since Craig Dabler looked at himself in the mirror and thought, “I can’t live like this anymore”.  He was carrying too many extra pounds on his slight frame and he felt horrible.  He knew he wasn’t healthy, that if he kept this up he wouldn’t be around for very much longer. So he got up, left the house and went for a run.
Craig before beginning
his running career

It’s a common story, shared by many runners – that life changing moment when you decide to do something for yourself, take charge of your health.  But here is the rub, Craig didn’t do it for himself, he did it for his parents.  His brother Matt had tragically taken his own life a few years before, leaving a hole in his family that Craig was searching for a way to fill, but didn’t know how.  The thought of leaving his parents alone was horrible. But those first few steps started a whole new journey, one that eventually would lead to him being awarded the Southern Arizona Roadrunner’s Spirit of Rob Bell Award.

His journey would take him many extraordinary places and introduce him to many wonderful people.  Craig began to compete in local races, a marathon here, a half marathon there, always improving and always amazed at the dedication of the runners around him.  As a noted craftsmen and jeweler, Craig wanted to recognize their accomplishments, so he began to design unique medals for finishers of local races.  He sponsors children’s races for the Southern Arizona Roadrunners and is a proud member of the Slow Old Goats – a racing team that enjoys running more than racing.  He participates for the love of running, for the friendship and the camaraderie.

The award memorializes Rob Bell, an ‘average, middle of the pack’ runner who always cheered on his fellow runners.  But Rob’s sister Wanda Hensley will tell you differently.   “It is awesome that Rob is remembered in this way.  He wouldn’t want the recognition, but his legacy as a champion of the accomplishment is what lives on in Craig through this award,” she said.

Craig running in Sabino Canyon.
Photo credit: Goatographer
That is why the selection of Craig is an apt choice.  

A man that has accomplished much more than just running, he has become a champion of those that inspire him.

Congratulations Craig!










6/1/2019 Edited to add: Tim Bentley wrote this in October 2010 for the SAR newsletter. Craig is among a long-line of amazing and inspiring individuals that have been awarded the Spirit of Rob Bell Award. Check out the inspiring list.

Craig is still a talented jewelry designer, he just gives other people the tools to create their own works of art. Check him out here.

Thursday, April 4, 2019

Mr. Bentley, are you a runner?

April 16, 2010

"Mr. Bentley, are you a runner?"

I'm standing in the St. Augustine Catholic High School chapel, in front of the student body and a kid asks me this. It's my first day at a new job and I'm nervous about the way I look and the way I sound. I can see their faces, 120 of them looking at me expectantly.

The school principal introduces me to the students and assembled faculty and asks me to tell them a little bit about myself. My mind races - where to begin, what to say? "Don't mind the hat kids, I had cancer, that's why I look funny." I don't know what to say. The only teenager I'd ever really talked to was my nephew and he just thought I was a funny dancer.

I don't know how they knew I ran. Maybe I talked about it during my interview and it made its way to the track coach, I'm not sure.  But here is this skinny kid with an endearing grin and tousled black hair, standing up in the middle of chapel asking, "Mr. Bentley, are you a runner?"

I pause for what seems like an eternity, thoughts racing through my head. What do I say? Images barrel through my head. My lymphoma, personal struggles, anxiety as I come to grips with my level of running now, all fighting to be the one excuse allowing me to bow out and say, 'no'.

"Mr. Bentley, are you a runner?" 

I stand there, positive they can see the see the emotions ripple across my face. What does that mean - are you a runner? Is it running everyday? Five miles a week? More, less? Does it mean you run races? Does it mean owning a pair of running shoes, or shirts? Yes, some of those. Or none. 

I struggle, trying to come up with a simple answer to such a complicated question. Am I a runner? I latch on to something, something I've come to realize on this journey. Maybe simply put, running is a way of thinking about ourselves. The values that we hold dear and the story we tell ourselves to help us find our way in an uncertain world. To find the people like us.

I look again at this group of kids, this kid named Nico asking me if I'm a runner and I see them struggling with the same questions. What defines them? What values will they find dear and hold close as they navigate this journey to adulthood? I took those same tentative steps when I was a scared, nervous ninth grader. I asked those same questions too, seeking out people who were like me and held the same values. I remember it was then that I became a runner.

"Mr. Bentley, are you a runner?"

Little did I know that by answering this question, running would save my life. Again.

"Yes." I replied. "I'm a runner."

Nico grins, and the kids cheer. Mr. Bentley is a runner.

This is a snippet from Tim's upcoming book about cancer and life, and the tools running gives us to be great at both.

To read the middle part of this journey, follow the link here.